My iPhone autocorrect fail of the day, sent to my neighbors who are currently away:
“Would you be able to water my plants along with yours after you get back? If so, will leave monkey in yr apt.”
Ha ha! — MY KEY, not a monkey.
That would be quite the welcome-home surprise.
Leopard Shark
And in today’s weird news… an osprey protest?
SAN JUAN CAPISTRANO, Calif. (AP) – “Nobody yelled “Fore!” at a Southern California golf course when a 2-foot-long shark dropped out of the sky and flopped around on the 12th tee.”
The 2-pound leopard shark was apparently plucked from the ocean by a bird then dropped on San Juan Hills Golf Club, said Melissa McCormack, director of club operations.
“Down with golf courses! Bring back the wetlands!” the osprey was heard to think. (Okay, no, I made that part up.)
Still, can you imagine being there? Talk about a golf hazard!
This incident reminds me of the wonderful collection of weird phenomena collected by Charles Fort. His books, compiled in the early 20th century, center on exhaustively documented ‘puzzling evidence.’ These run the gamut from events of Biblical proportion like sudden plagues of locusts or rains of blood, and what would today be called UFO phenomena, to small surrealistic moments like this one.
The best part of this story is that the golf course workers managed to save the little shark’s life! One noticed it and took it to their office, where they quickly stuck it in a bucketful of water. Then they suddenly remembered, hey, this is a SALT water creature. So they mixed in some table salt (!) and transported the shark to the ocean. He initially just sat there, stunned, but then flipped his fin and swam off.
Read more from ABC.com: Shark Falls From Sky Onto California Golf Course
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P.S.: There are many kinds of sharks. The one we usually think of, thanks to the movie Jaws, is the Great White shark (pictured grinning below). Leopard sharks (pictured above) are much smaller and sleeker in design, and their skin features cute spots.
Another big difference is that leopard sharks have not acquired a taste for human flesh. However, just to set the record straight, given the choice, Great Whites will overwhelmingly choose other fare too. Apparently, we just aren’t the choicest dish in the sea. (I don’t know about you, but knowing this brings me a combo of relief and petulant wondering why not.)
Easter, according to De Ratione Temporum by the Christian scholar known as “the venerable Bede” (672-735 C.E.), was named after Eostre, the Teutonic dawn goddess of fertility – in other words, the spiritual embodiment of Spring.
The Teutons lived in what now is central Europe – Germany, Austria and the like. The word for Easter in modern German is Ostern, which likely stems from Ost, meaning “East.” The sun rises in the east, and of course we in the Northern hemisphere, particularly places that have recently experienced long and bitter snows, are all celebrating the sun’s return as winter passes and the days grow longer and warmer.
This is the heart of the death and resurrection story later grafted onto the holy man Jesus – the return of life to soil, plants, birds, bugs, plants, animals, and us all. Young animals are born, their mothers’ milk flows, and from the bare branches of winter, sweet-smelling flowers and life-giving fruit now return. For one more year, we know now we will likely live.
Plus now we also get chocolate bunnies.
May your own season of rebirth go much more easily!
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(Image Note: I don’t know who drew this great bunny cartoon. If you do, please tell me and I’ll be delighted to give credit.)
This post is for you lovers of science fiction and mythopoetic fantasy literature. As one myself, these made me laugh.
1) When I first saw this sign, I thought it was a clever joke – but no. Klingons kicked Stormtrooper butt in this ultimate nerd showdown held for a good cause in Portland, Oregon on New Year’s.
“New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day are not holidays people typically think of to give blood,” said Steve Stegeman, CEO of the American Red Cross Pacific Northwest Blood Services Region. “We have to get a little bit creative.”
You can read more about it in the Oregonian. I just can’t help but wonder what blood type each of them are…
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2) Then there are the Xmas ornaments.
My dear friend Burnie, who taught science fiction and fantasy to two generations of brilliant misfits in her high school English classes, has collected Hallmark’s Star Trek ornaments for years. Some of them light up; others even talk. She is amazed to realize that this goofy collection has so increased in value that it may well now form the bulk of her childrens’ inheritance.
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Here she is, in a photo taken a few years ago by her porch with me and another close friend.
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This cool retro rocket ship night-light is what I gave her this year. The red liquid inside contains glitter that roils around when it heats up from the light. Sometimes a person needs a booster rocket to get to the proper dreamland.
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Star Trek is one thing; Lovecraft would be quite another. Would you open a present found under a tree with this on it?
Ornament made by Etsy seller Michelle Scrimpsher
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3) Although the holiday season can bring great joy, you might be surprised by the number of folks who feel relief that it is now past.
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Happy January!
I love being a grownup. Unlike in childhood, if someone at work beats you up, they go to jail. Adulthood has so many perks, mainly to do with freedom: staying up as late as you like; listening to any music you like; hanging with the friends you like, no matter how bizarre; having your own car so you can all go wherever you want while blasting the aforementioned music out the window for your weirdo friends to sing along to at all gawdawful hours.
To the child still awake in me, one of the best perks is that if you don’t want to eat your vegetables, you have many viable options.
You can wear them…
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You can glue them to your car…
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…or morph your car into one (although the interior might be a bit seedy).
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You can play with them…
Party guests made these fanciful beings as part of the celebration of Damien McAnany’s birthday in Santa Rosa, CA. Yep, we played with our food! (The ginger-footed critter is mine.)
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…Or you can literally play them.
Introducing the Wien Gemueseorchester (Vienna Vegetable Orchestra).
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Here they are again, featuring a live performance on carrot.
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If you get inspired by this post to make your own animistic vegie sculptures, music or couture, please come back and share stories/links in the Comments box below.
Vegetables can be both good for you and fun. Who knew?
My resolutions are to dance, loaf, and not go on any diets.
This year, I’ve decided to be realistic.
Happy new year! May it bring you much joy.
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“Women in Rubber” – downeast Maine
(I’m the one with the ridiculous fanny pack.)
I was fortunate to complete the final year of my B.A. at an alternative institution that opened up in my hometown of Reno, Nevada: Old College. It was headed up by a Jesuit priest, Father “Jack” Leary. I got to debate deep ideas like “Truth” with him and with a small pack of formerly-cloistered Carmelite nuns who were fellow students in the class. Jesuits have the most well-trained minds in the business. I learned more in that one year than I had in the previous six at that educational cafeteria known as the University of NV, and have ever after been sold on alternative education. This sort of real intellectual discourse; the community of scholars with whom to apprentice and wrangle ideas, was what I had always envisioned college would be.
As a pagan studying under a Jesuit, though, we did not always agree. (No surprise!) The biggest clash we had was over the Church’s notion that only humans had souls. I vehemently questioned that assumption. Father Leary just as vehemently defended it. But he really had no grounds to stand on, because after all, how the heck could we ever really know? I recall one moment when, in the heat of a thick argument, he invoked the powerful phrase, “God said, ‘I am that I am’…,” and I, rude iconoclast that I was in my 20s, steamed out, “Well, so did Popeye. What has that to do with this issue?” The nuns burst out laughing.
Seriously, the fact that such a deep thinker could not formulate an argument that flew strengthened my sense of wrongness about the Church’s philosophy regarding other animals.
In my final eval, Fr. Leary wrote that I had “the makings of quite a good philosopher.” His praise meant a great deal to me. That a man with whom I so strongly disagreed would still honor my showing guts in taking a stand, and furthermore, a Jesuit admiring the way in which I formulated my argument? His praise warms the cockles of my cranky little heart to this day, and I take strength from it. What an example of good mentoring.
Twenty years later, the Church remains stubbornly adamant about humans being on top. But there are sometimes signs of hope towards a more egalitarian species stance – including this.
A sign of changing times: a Catholic/Protestant duel involving animism!
These churches are said to be located across the street from one another.
I so hope this is real.
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Yes!!! Either this Catholic church has woken up, or their leaders have a great sense of humor, or both – all good signs in my opinion.
These sign wars bring up a theological dilemma for me. If there are no dogs or rocks in heaven, I certainly don’t want to go there. So should I start acting badly to prevent the possibility? Please advise.
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Want more?
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May all beings be happy.
May all beings be peaceful.
May all beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May all beings enjoy a belly laugh today.
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Source: This funny photo series has been posted in numerous places without attribution, including Anathema, from whom I nabbed it. If the original photographer sees this, please contact me to be given proper credit.
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